Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Holidays & Birthdays (Day 18)
While my sister is away, all of her children will celebrate another year of life. Dom's birthday came and went, and we were fortunate enough to see her the day before his actual birthday, which made the celebration a little less somber. Now as Thanksgiving quickly approaches I find myself reaching for my phone to text my sister menu ideas, only to be brought back to the sad reality that she won't be with us tomorrow.
Setting all selfishness aside, I can come to terms with the fact that she won't be there tomorrow. I know she's handling her business and sacrificing to make her life better for herself and more importantly her family. But I can't help but thinking how I would feel if I was in the kids' shoes. What would I think? How would I feel?
Setting all selfishness aside, I can come to terms with the fact that she won't be there tomorrow. I know she's handling her business and sacrificing to make her life better for herself and more importantly her family. But I can't help but thinking how I would feel if I was in the kids' shoes. What would I think? How would I feel?
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Reflection (Day 11)
Today has been a day of reflection. I look back at when I was Dom's age, and think about all the things my 14 year old mind would think. Things like, "When I'm a parent I'm NOT going to do x, y, and z like my mom and dad." To be honest, I think I still thought that way until I actually had the kid moved in.
Now, I've been a parent before, a step-parent (most challenging position I have ever had in my life by the way.) Not only are you the outsider, you're last in the parent pecking order, yet expected to pull the same amount of weight with the least amount of say... but that's a different story for a different day and a different blog.
In any case, this is the first time I've been the first in the pecking order. I'm his guardian, I make all the parental decisions, handle all the discipline and take all the responsibility for his well being- school and general health. What I've noticed is I am not making these decisions with the underlying motivation of NOT doing what my parents did, but I am finding I'm focusing on what they DID do. I'm thinking about all the things in my childhood and adolescence that made me the individual I am today (who I happen to like very much), and instilling those into Dominic. I think this has many advantages- for one, it should be consistent with my sister as we were raised by the same people and also, if these are things that have had this long and strong of an effect on me, they'll probably do the same to him. I hope at least.
Anywho... my point is, so far this has been so much more of a positive experience than I think anyone surrounding our lives may have thought. I had few doubts- I know me, I know Dominic; I knew this would work. But there was a part of me that had to be realistic. The circumstances in which he came her were sticky, and somewhat turbulent. We also have another variable in the equation, my fiance, so that could change the scenario in many different ways.
Nonetheless, I sit here, reflecting on all the positive events in my life. All the quirky, but amazingly filled with love approaches my folks took while raising me and separately- I am a child of divorce since I was 6; and I am filled with gratitude. I'm overwhelmed by the resilience my mother displayed when dealing with me at this age, goddamn I was a handful. I am so very fortunate to have this kid the way he is- sweet and low-key.
Thank you Mom.
Thank you Dad.
You did alright. :)
Now, I've been a parent before, a step-parent (most challenging position I have ever had in my life by the way.) Not only are you the outsider, you're last in the parent pecking order, yet expected to pull the same amount of weight with the least amount of say... but that's a different story for a different day and a different blog.
In any case, this is the first time I've been the first in the pecking order. I'm his guardian, I make all the parental decisions, handle all the discipline and take all the responsibility for his well being- school and general health. What I've noticed is I am not making these decisions with the underlying motivation of NOT doing what my parents did, but I am finding I'm focusing on what they DID do. I'm thinking about all the things in my childhood and adolescence that made me the individual I am today (who I happen to like very much), and instilling those into Dominic. I think this has many advantages- for one, it should be consistent with my sister as we were raised by the same people and also, if these are things that have had this long and strong of an effect on me, they'll probably do the same to him. I hope at least.
Anywho... my point is, so far this has been so much more of a positive experience than I think anyone surrounding our lives may have thought. I had few doubts- I know me, I know Dominic; I knew this would work. But there was a part of me that had to be realistic. The circumstances in which he came her were sticky, and somewhat turbulent. We also have another variable in the equation, my fiance, so that could change the scenario in many different ways.
Nonetheless, I sit here, reflecting on all the positive events in my life. All the quirky, but amazingly filled with love approaches my folks took while raising me and separately- I am a child of divorce since I was 6; and I am filled with gratitude. I'm overwhelmed by the resilience my mother displayed when dealing with me at this age, goddamn I was a handful. I am so very fortunate to have this kid the way he is- sweet and low-key.
Thank you Mom.
Thank you Dad.
You did alright. :)
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Day 4
Things I've learned/ realized...
- Thirteen year old boys...
- Have hallow legs. They must, 'cause I have no idea where all that food he consumes goes.
- Think chewing gum counts as brushing your teeth in the morning.
- Can multitask with the best of them- TV, laptop, mobile phone AND homework can all be done at the same time, successfully.
- Are great TV watching companions- we like all the same shows! (Not sure what that says about me though.)
- I can no longer...
- Iron my shirt in just my bra.
- Walk from the shower to the bedroom with just a towel on my head.
- Get away with a "lazy night"; at minimum dinner needs to be made and homework needs to be reviewed.
- Trust Stud (our dog) to be my dedicated snuggle buddy. He has abandoned me for the kid.
- My fiance is amazing for the following reasons...
- He wholeheartedly took in my family without question.
- Has quickly adapted to the huge changes in our life.
- Is serving as a positive role model to my nephew.
- Is extremely handsome.
- Helps with every aspect of parenting Dominic.
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
It begins...
Life can sometimes throw you a curve ball, and sometimes life throws you an adolescent.
I have a reasonably large family, and as it seems, a larger heart. Due to circumstances of life, my older sister needs some time to get back on her feet. Part of that process is having her kids cared for by others. My amazing fiancé and I have opened our home to my sweet, sweet 13 year old nephew, Dominic. (Note to self: Let's hope I still say "sweet" a few weeks from now.)
I thought this blog would be a fun, and cathartic way of dealing with this huge life change. I also figure, 13 year old boys have to provide some quality entertainment that should be recorded. Stay tuned and enjoy!
I have a reasonably large family, and as it seems, a larger heart. Due to circumstances of life, my older sister needs some time to get back on her feet. Part of that process is having her kids cared for by others. My amazing fiancé and I have opened our home to my sweet, sweet 13 year old nephew, Dominic. (Note to self: Let's hope I still say "sweet" a few weeks from now.)
I thought this blog would be a fun, and cathartic way of dealing with this huge life change. I also figure, 13 year old boys have to provide some quality entertainment that should be recorded. Stay tuned and enjoy!
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